we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
