I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
