Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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