he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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