You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
