if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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