so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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