I wanna bring you to show and tell
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
