mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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