Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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