why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
