Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize