between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
