FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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