singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
