In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
