im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just forgot I was standing up.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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