6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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