She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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