dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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