so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
