It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
