I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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