I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
