you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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