Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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