I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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