How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
