So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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