Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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