Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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