Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
