The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
