I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize