Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
