Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
