Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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