im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
