I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
