I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
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She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
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I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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