wakey wakey hands off snakey
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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