David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
