Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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