That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
