he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
