I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
