I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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