dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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