the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
