u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize