He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you inspire me to be a worse person
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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