I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
