Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Of course I have a pirate flag
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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