Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Randomize
