the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
