i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
