PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
