you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
