Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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