Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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