this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
