I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
