He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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