I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
